I grew up outside of Chicago then moved to Madison, WI for just over half a decade. These days it's New York City for me. What's next? Maybe California?
In case you have any questions I've posted this informational and comical video for you. Created by animation studio, FlickerLab for Planned Parenthood, watch and learn as Peter Penis and Mina Vagina dispel the misconceptions surrounding pregnancy. (This video especially recommended for hillbillys, southern-folk, incestuous families and slutty teenagers) Click picture above to watch video.
Hope everyone enjoys their day off of work. I'll be spending the rest of my day lounging around the house and doing a whole lot of nothing. Tomorrow night the Mega Millions Lotto game is up to $150 million so if I'm lucky I'll be able to continue doing a whole lot of nothing for quite some time.
Blogging's gotten a bit boring lately but there's always one thing that entertains me while writing on this site... Talking about the stupidity of our president, Bush jr.
Even during a photo-op touring Katrina's aftermath he still manages to make a fool of himself. Here's a copy of a transcript from a CNN video of Bush walking with two sobbing African-American women who have lost everthing due to the hurricane. Bush has his arms over their shoulders and occasionally kisses them on the forehead to console them. Surely after the photo op is over Bush and all his finely dressed entourage will leave the disaster area and won't even remember the names of these women.
Bush to women: "There's a Salvation Army center that I want to, that I'll tell you where it is, and they'll get you some help. I'm sorry.... They'll help you.....
Woman 1: "I came here looking for clothes..."
Bush: "They'll get you some clothes, at the Salvation Army center..."
Woman 1: "We don't have anything..."
Bush: "I understand.... Do you know where the center is, that I'm talking to you about?"
Guy with shades: "There's no center there, sir, it's a truck."
Bush: "There's trucks?"
Guy: "There's a school, a school about two miles away....."
Bush: "But isn't there a Salvation center down there?"
Guy: "No that's wiped out...."
Bush: "A temporary center? "
Guy: "No sir they've got a truck there, for food."
Bush: "That's what I'm saying, for food and water."
Bush turns to the sister who's been saying how she needs clothes.
It's vacation time and what better place to go than sunny California. I'm spending the week hanging out with Jason, Shannon, Ben and Tosha. I flew in on Song Airlines thanks to a great deal from Priceline.
When I got off the plane in L.A. I ran into WWF great Hulk Hogan. He looks the same as he did when I was a kid going to see WWF matches at the Rosemont Horizon with my dad. I guess the Hulkster is trying to make a comeback with his new reality show but Mackenzi put it best when she said Hulk's TV show is none more than The Osbournes redux (with fewer drugs/profanity so why bother watching).
I had some monster margaritas during Happy Hour at a place called Toppers, named as such because it's on the top floor of the trendy Huntley Hotel in Santa Monica. We had a nice view of the ocean and the Santa Monica / Malibu mountains. After happy hour we went over to Ben and Tosha's place for Hippy Hour, which as always was quite fun.
Wednesday Jason and I went to the L.A. Convention Center for Siggraph 2005, an entertainment technology expo. We saw lots of cool stuff. I even went virtual hangliding over Rio Di Janiero. We saw a screening of some animated short films. One of the films called "True Color" was really cool. There was also an interactive Art Gallery but I think the Emerging Technologies section was the best. They had a huge room full of people showing demos of some of the coolest new technologies. This is where I did the hangliding. There was a really neat robot from Carnegie Mellon University that we chatted with for a bit. Also this cool thing... They put a strip behind your ears and someone has a remote control. When you walk and someone turns the remote control to the left, it makes you move to the left. Kinda weird but cool. Another use of this tool was in a car racing video game. By moving / tilting your head you could control the driving of the car. There were also a lot of 3D sculpture makers. You could make a 3D image in a computer program and send it to this machine that actually molds a model out of plastic or wood or other materials that looks exactly like your computer image. There was a booth with Holographic (3d) television screens, no 3D glasses necessary. They were very impressive. We also saw something called the "SPORE" project. The idea is a Rubber Plant was bought from Home Depot who offers a 1 year replacement guarantee on all of their plants. The plant is hooked into this computer controlled environment that monitors Home Depot stock and based on the performance of the stock the plant may or may not get fed. The idea is about sustainable corporate growth, whereas if the company grows too fast the plant gets too much water and dies, if it doesn't do well enough the plant gets no water and dies. So far the project has not had a plant last more than a year and Home Depot has replaced each of their dead plants for free.
After Siggraph we went over to Jason's friend Scott's place for a weekly poker game. We had a 2 table tournament with 15 people. I started out a little rocky and even when I had a good hand I got beat. After the break my game started picking up and when we combined tables I was still in. I managed to pull off some great hands and suckered a lot of chips out of some people. I eventually ended up 4th and got my buy-in back. My ending hand was Ace, 5 of hearts and I lost to a guy with and Ace, 9 unsuited. He pulled off a pair of 9's.
I went out for dinner tonight to a place called Cosi down by Union Square. While looking over the bill I noticed that printed at the top it said "Server name: Reggae Monkey." I got a good chuckle out of it and on the receipt added a "Customer names" section. We were 'Rock n Roll Hippo' and 'Bluegrass Donkey.' What's your musical animal name?
Ever since the 'blockbuster' movie became a genre of film I've never expected too much as far as story or characters or anything really, except for lots of explosions and special fx. With that said, going to see War of the Worlds I had very low expectations. Even though the basis for the whole film is Tom Cruise running and hiding from giant human destroying aliens the movie seemed like it could be end up being pretty good. I was very wrong. The end of the movie was terrible. They could have replaced the ending with a clip of a Richard Simmons workout video and it would have been better. It was so bad that I'm going to tell you what happened so if you really care, don't read anymore. After all this battle, annihlation and build up, which Tom Cruise and company manage to survive through, they end up in Boston where suddenly the aliens die from germs and Tom Cruise and his daughter are reunited with all of their loved ones who just happen to be waiting in the doorway of their pristine uninvaded brownstone. The End.
You'll never guess who I ran into on the walk to work last Friday? I was passing by 39th and 7th when a couple of squad cars turned the corner. It looked like they were pulling over someone driving a Lincoln Towncar until a few black SUV's zipped around the corner and unloaded a small plethora of hulky suited men with earpieces and lapel pins signifying their Secret Service affiliation. As soon as all the men in black were unloaded Laura Bush popped out of the towncar and walked right in front of me. She either went in the side door of HSBC bank or some random office in the Fashion District. If I had more warning, I would have made some sort of inappropriate comment or used the word 'bush' in vain or maybe just sneezed in her general direction (they can't put you in Gitmo for that yet, can they?)
Allright! I know, it's been like two months and I've been leaving you all in the dark so it's time for a little rundown of my spring. I apologize in advance for those of you who came to this site in search of internet porn. Though I can't claim to offer you the hottest lusty babes of the net I have found a pair of great F Town links... There's the Chinese version of F-Town and some random site with swear words.
I've been going all over on a binge of weekend adventures including trips out to Orange County, NY, Washington DC, Madison, WI and the Hamptons. There's also been a lot to do while hanging out in the city like sloppy joe parties, animation festivals, Bar Mitzvah's, Conan O'Brien, BBQ Festivals and more!
Jamie and I went up to Orange County for a weekend and stayed at a nice place on Greenwood lake called Anton's. The room was really nice and from the balcony you could get a great view of the lake and the mountains. We went all around the Warwick / Central Valley area and made it to the Woodbury Commons Outlet Mall. There were a few good deals and tons of stores. The place is gigantic. I found that fondue set I've been looking for and some new clothes. At night we saw Amityville Horror at the Warwick drive-in. On Sunday we drove around, stopped in the Sugar Loaf craft village and laid out in a field while drinking wine at the Applewood Winery. All this and only 1 1/4 hours from NYC. I think the next trip to some place without skyscrapers and cabs will be camping in the Catskills (or maybe in Delaware?). Oh yeah, did I mention the handle-bar mustache I was sporting for a few weeks?
The next getaway was a quick drive down to the Baltimore / D.C. area. I know what you're thinking... Franklin just wanted to try and catch a glimpse of his favorite president... Well, actually Ben, Tosha and Jason were all in from L.A. for Passover. I met our motley crew at the State Theater in Virginia to see a couple of bands, Hot Buttered Rum (bluegrass) and The Dark Star Orchestra (Grateful Dead covers). The theater was a great place to catch a show. The music and vocals came through the auditorium quite clearly which made the bands sound really good. Everyone got funky and had a blast. I stayed at Jason's place and had fun cursing at his 'dark slide' (it's a camera thing) then had a huge passover dinner that his mom and sister put together. I got back to NYC Sunday afternoon, picked up Jamie and went North to Aunt Marlene's Passover extravaganza. 1 part stand up comedy, 2 parts drama and a whole lot of brisket made Jamie's first passover an interesting one.
Oh! Did I tell you that I saw Bjork in Central Park? Jamie and I were walking around making fun of other people's outfits and Jamie says "Did you see that person?" I said "Yeah, it looks like a really badly dressed Bjork." Jamie said "Nope, that is Bjork." So, sorry Bjork if you heard me dissing your dress, but didn't anyone tell you that 'Hammer Pants' are out?
Robin is now a college graduate. Anyone looking to hire an Anthropologist? The whole family made it to Wisco to party with Robin. I drove up from New York, mom flew in from New York and dad drove up from Florida after a brief stop at the Kentucky Derby with some of his cronies. The graduation ceremony was a little boring, but I saw Robin on the jumbo-tron. I'm a little dissapointed that there was never a jumbo-tron when I went to Madison. To celebrate we went out with Robin and all her friends to a Japanese steakhouse, had lots of sake and then went out drinking on State Street. I met up with Jamie and some of her friends and we hit up all the good 'ol dives like the Silver Dollar, the Paradise and even the Pub for a shot of Jaeger with lil' sis. The next night Robin and her roomates had a keg and champagne to celebrate the graduation. I left for a little while and came back to find a huge cake! Such a yummy sight! The drive back to New York was a little less exciting than the weekend away, but I found that it only takes my Camry about 2.25 tanks of gas to get to Madison from NYC. Oh yeah, dad also got in on a few graduation weekend photo ops...
Last weekend was beachier than most. My friend, Ilene, lent me her cabin in the Hamptons for the weekend. It's a cute place and right by the beach. Jamie and I hung out in the sun and played in the ocean, drove around a bit and found some great sights and some delicious markets to get dinner supplies. I made filet mignon with a red wine sauce and garlic mashed potatoes. We picked up some baked clams from a tastee 'grilled seafood to go' place for an appetizer. Note - Clambake is not to be mistaken for baked clams. The filets turned out great, really! I wish I was eating some more right now... Mmmmm. Let me know if you want the recipe! (The veggie version is pretty much the same, except seitan instead of cow)
My cousin Matthew's Bar Mitzvah was quite the gala. In the East Coast spirit of showing up your neigbors by having a more extravagant Bar Mitzvah than they did, Matthews 2005 Invitational was the place to be. I had never dressed black tie for a Bar Mitzvah before so it was fun to hire out a tux for the weekend (it's much classier than renting one). The ceremony was nice and Matthew chose to chant his Torah reading which gave it a pleasant feel. In a surprise move by my Aunt, my cousins and I were called up to the beamah at the end to lead a sing-a-long. Not normally a problem but none of us really new the song and the lyrics were in Hebrew (not transliteration). We caught on after a couple rounds, and some coaching from the Rabbi. The celebration afterward was at the CV Rich Mansion in Westchester. After the valets parked the car we headed into the mansion and wandered round the many rooms where different hor'deurves and appetizers were being served. The food in each room had a different region as a theme and open bars all around. I eventually wandered over to the Mexican room for a mini burrito and Corona. There was a game room and mini golf set up for the kids, who could play for 'Matthew Money' to be traded in later for prizes. The main banquet hall housed the D.J., dancers, magician, souveneir photo booth and of course Matthew's 19th Hole (ie... the bar). We danced, won hats and eventually basked in the glory of a chocolate fondue waterfall. My Mom and I came back to my house at around 4AM and the next night went out to Il Bagatto in the East Village for Mother's Day.
Wow, this post is getting long. Anyone still reading?
Many of you may remember Mr. Charlie Paul. He had a Sloppy Joe party for his birthday a while back. Man, were those some good sloppy joes or what!
Thank god I heard about the annual Big Apple BBQ Block Party before it ended. Last weekend Madison Square Park and parts of Madison Avenue were taken over by barbeque tents, beer tents and music tents and opened up to thousands of crazed bbq seekers from all over the city. New York brought in representatives from some of the nations best bbq joints. Many of 'em tried but nothin' could beat those pulled pork sandwiches from Dinosaur BBQ.
Did anyone see me on Conan O'Brien last Tuesday? Just after the skit when Santa was making out with a she-male when the camera panned across the crowd. I was easy to spot. The only one in the audience with a beard. Cedric the Entertainer was really funny, I hear his new movie isn't? Michael Palin, one of the creators of Monty Python, was also there. I wanted him to be funnier, but he wasn't. The band Better Than Ezra played. They were definitely NOT better than anyone, let alone Ezra. I could see the pain in Max Weinberg's eyes as the band played their song. Max's band, of course, was the hot-hot shit, and Conan was on too. (Thanks Stew for the tix hookup).
A few weeks ago my friend Matt's family was in town and invited all his friends to the opening of Beast on the Moon, an Off Broadway play written by Matt's Dad's college roomate, Richard Kalinoski. It's a great story. The play follows the lives of an immigrant refugee and his mail-order bride. Funny, sad, educational and entertaining that's a lot of adjectives for one single play, so it must be good.
Have any of you been to Sylvia's? It's a famously delicious soul food restaurant in Harlem. I went there a couple of weeks ago and ran into a mother/daughter visiting from Minnesota. While waiting for a table we chatted, mainly noting the difference between a water fountain and a bubbler. They asked about our jobs and were more interested in hearing about Jamie's line of work (Bra's) than mine. I have to admit, talking about, looking at, measuring and making sexy coverings for breasts all day sounds fun to me?
Hot dogs, peanuts, baseball and lawsuits all in one night of film; what could be better? 2 weekends ago I made it to a night of the annual GenArt film festival. Kaela was assistant wardrobe designer for the evening's short film, "Dog Eat Dog." The short film presents a dark, funny look at the competitive prowess of a New York City hot dog vendor. Selling his dogs on a deserted NYC street is not easy but with his faith in the American Dream, some networking and a bit of mischief he overcomes his obstacles and kills the competition (literally). The other film was a feature about baseball. Who knew that I'd actually enjoy it? The film, "Up For Grabs," really embodies everything that professional sports in America are all about: money, greed and spectacle. The feature documentary follows the fights and lawsuit surrounding Barry Bonds' record-breaking 73rd home run baseball. Alex Popov and Patrick Hayashi are followed by the cameras as they fought, moaned and sued over ownership of a baseball. It's a little long, but a very funny doc. Check it out sometime.
After the films came the real fun, the after party. The evening's festivities were at Gypsy Tea, one of NYC's cooler clubs. The party was sponsored by Boru Vodka and Stella Beer so as you can imagine we took full advantage of the free booze. After leaving the party I was a little drunk and ended up writing stupid comments on people's parking tickets (they gave out pens at the film fest).
I'm not normally down with the hip hop scene but a week ago Thursday Jamie, Lindsay and I went to the Knitting Factory for a very entertaining Velour Records release party for The Mic & The Music. The show had some dj's and emcees warm up the crowd but we were really there to see the main act. Fire Dept. (the band featuring members of Soulive) collabaroted with emcee Breeze Evahflowin and special guest Chali 2na, from Jurassic 5. The act was very lively. The band along with their horn section really supported the emcees. I know Breeze Evahflowin was supposed to be kinda the main emcee but Chali 2na stole the spotlight. Chali has a much better voice and presence on the stage.
You know those movies that are kinda boring but are just intriguing enough to get sucked into until the end? Midnight Run was one of those movies. Jamie, Kaela and I watched it on Saturday and although we couldn't wait for the film to end we couldn't turn it off either. Was it Robert Deniro's wit and charm? or were we just lazy? I dunno? After the movie finally ended I went over to Jonny-5's house for poker night. I didn't win but at least I didn't go out in the 3rd hand of the game after mistakenly thinking I had a straight. Sunday afternoon my Southside Astoria crew and I went to a matinee of Sin City. It was an entertaining movie but the story was a little disconnected. Still worth seeing for the blood and boobs, if you're into that?
To celebrate Purim, Good Friday and my co-worker Sally's birthday I went down to the Lower East Side Friday night and embarked on a night of drinking at the Ludlow Street bar Max Fish. On the way down there I stopped at Ryan's studio to play a little music. Man, we rock. I got to the bar and found the gang. We took over the pool table for a while (note: I'm bad at pool). Besides pool there was plenty of talking, drinking, lap dancing and even mild attempts at singing.
There were a few good deals and tons of stores. The place is gigantic. I found that fondue set I've been looking for and some new clothes. At night we saw Amityville Horror at the Warwick drive-in. On Sunday we drove around, stopped in the Sugar Loaf craft village and laid out in a field while drinking wine at the Applewood Winery. All this and only 1 1/4 hours from NYC. I think the next trip to some place without skyscrapers and cabs will be camping in the Catskills (or maybe in Delaware?). Oh yeah, did I mention the handle-bar mustache I was sporting for a few weeks?
Robin is now a college graduate. Anyone looking to hire an Anthropologist? The whole family made it to Wisco to party with Robin. I drove up from New York, mom flew in from New York and dad drove up from Florida after a brief stop at the Kentucky Derby with some of his cronies. The graduation ceremony was a little boring, but I saw Robin on the jumbo-tron. I'm a little dissapointed that there was never a jumbo-tron when I went to Madison. To celebrate we went out with Robin and all her friends to a Japanese steakhouse, 
had lots of sake and then went out drinking on State Street. I met up with Jamie and some of her friends and we hit up all the good 'ol dives like the Silver Dollar, the Paradise and even the Pub for a shot of Jaeger with lil' sis. The next night Robin and her roomates had a keg and champagne to celebrate the graduation. I left for a little while and came back to find a huge cake! Such a yummy sight! The drive back to New York was a little less exciting than the weekend away, but I found that it only takes my Camry about 2.25 tanks of gas to get to Madison from NYC. Oh yeah, dad also got in on a few graduation weekend photo ops... 